又大又难的事

耶稣，在祷告中，突然意识到，这又大又难的事，让我离你更近，你的爱再次显明。我的骄傲，懒惰和冷漠让我对别人的灵魂似乎完全没负担。感谢圣灵对我说话，求你怜悯！求你帮助！奉主的名，阿门！

Sigh......

Yesterday E's words made me cry: "I'm so happy for you, because finally you find someone. But at the same time, my heart aches for you, because I know you love God very much. The price you will pay might be much higher than you can imagine now.  Have you decided? Are you ready?"

Dear Jesus, when I made the decision, do you think I'm leaving you and your kingdom? Because it seems that you, you alone, can't satisfy me.  I'm not going to find any excuse for my weakness.  May I experience what you've experienced in loving people, both joy and pain. May I be like you.  You are my life. 

Dear Jesus, you know I love you!